omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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