Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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