sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
