hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
