She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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