Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize