A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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