Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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