absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
