just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize