I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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