Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
