new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
