His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
