I'm so fucking centered right now
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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