i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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