There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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