just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize