i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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