STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
