Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
