You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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