Dual....:-)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
