She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
