I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
