he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
