Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
