I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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