Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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