But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
