he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't deserve a penis
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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