Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
