you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
