She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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