I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
