i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They took my balls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
