billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
