the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
