my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
