Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
