there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
