I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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