I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
