Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't deserve a penis
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
