whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You work out of a Hotel?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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