I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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