I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
