stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know her cup size but not her name....
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