apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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