Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
