I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
