After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he thought i was a dude.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
