I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
