wrigley field is MILF paradise
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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