I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
