I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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