mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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