we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
