I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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