Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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