real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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