oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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