Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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