But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
