your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
