So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
